Christian's Chronicles

July| Vol. 22 No. 8.02 | Christian's Chronicles © 2015 – All rights reserved.

Truth Babe is born

Move over ‘Food Babe,’ ‘Science Babe,’ Babe the pig, and all other Babes. Today, the Internets have given birth to:

Truth Babe!

I christen myself “The Truth Babe.”  I wanted to go for “America’s Sweetheart” but I believe that may already be taken.  Plus, “Babe” appears to be a moniker that is a surefire way to popularity with a long history starting with “Babe” Ruth and all the way to the infamous “Food Babe” and her nemesis the “Science Babe.”  For those who don’t know, ‘Food Babe’ is one of those self-appointed online saviors who peddles her ‘wisdom’ to legions of followers regarding what to eat and what to avoid.

The trouble is she is apparently full of shit.

Says who?  Says the “Science Babe,” who claims that various claims made by “Food Babe” do not withstand scientific scrutiny.  Likely so, but I do not care to dissect the veracity of either “Babe’s” claims.  I have encountered critique of the aforementioned “Food Babe” before, and in my humble opinion (as well as being just a simple fact grounded in logic, science, backed by experiments including the infamous ‘twinkie diet’) the first and foremost step for anyone who is trying to lose weight is to control calories so that they burn more than they take in.  This alone will yield health benefits across all measures, even if all you eat is McDonald’s.

Yes, that ‘Supersize Me’ guy was also full of shit. But I digress…

Back to a more important topic, namely: me.  I have anointed myself “Truth Babe” because, unlike those peddlers of food advice or scientific knowledge, I deal in nothing but God’s honest truth.  That is my expertise.  I am not one of those pseudo intellectual Wiki-professors, either.  I did not simply google my wisdom or ask Siri.  I battled racial discrimination (as a white male at a public university, as studies show) as well as earning and learning lessons through the school of hard knocks.  More importantly, I have done all the thinking, so you don’t have to.  I have digested all the information, analyzed the sources, smacked it up, flipped it, and rubbed it down, to distill only the clearest, purest, highest quality information for your consumption.  Do not bother to have your opinion; simply borrow mine.  It is the Truth.  Capital T Truth.

Plus – I deem myself “Babe” worthy.  I mean, just take a look:

Big Bloody

If that does not scream “Babe” at you, I don’t know what will.  Of course, there is the famous ‘Facebook Bouncer’ picture, too.  That’s the one on the cover page, with “I think you’ve had enough Facebook for today” genius line on it.  I think those two pictures pretty much settle the debate.  I’m a total Babe.

Truth Babe™.

The latest blessing I bestow upon the internet.  The birth of Truth Babe™.

Yours,

Truth Babe™

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One comment on “Truth Babe is born

  1. marga mcelroy (all hands, bohol)
    April 9, 2015

    a babe you’re not. the Hungarian Hunk. I prefer the pic, which I can’t find now, of a shirtless hunk smashing the S*** out of a cement wall.

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This entry was posted on April 9, 2015 by in The Chronicles and tagged , , , .