July| Vol. 22 No. 8.02 | Christian's Chronicles © 2015 – All rights reserved.
In this edition of The Chronicles, our hero continues his worldwide adventure in the capital city of South Korea, site of the 1988 summer Olympic games, Seoul.
A land of many wonders, which, due to language and cultural barriers, as yet remain mostly a mystery to a lonesome traveler continuing his journey toward the elusive Holy Grail of enlightenment (from the weight of student loan debt, that is), a brief visit to the crown jewel of this enchanted land proved worth chronicling, indeed. Encouraged by Conan O’Brien’s recent visit alongside Steven Yeun to an authentic Korean spa in Koreatown, your faithful Chronicler also decided to partake in the traditional Jinjilbang activities that were featured with a comedic slant in the video below:
However, that adventure is for a different Chronicle. For present purposes, our story will focus on a dog.
Several dogs, really.
In Seoul, apparently there are animal-themed cafes, at least one being a ‘dog cafe.’ These establishments are promoted on crowded pedestrian streets by workers handing out leaflets in full furry-certified authentic dog costumes. If for no other reason than to honor the work and dignity of one such employee, a companion (who shall remain nameless) and I decided to pay a visit and figure out what this puppy powered potable product place was all about.
After finally locating the correct door leading up 3 – 4 flights of stairs to the advertised venue, we entered (having paid the ‘cover’ charge) to find a variety of canine companions lounging around with a few people petting the puppies, and sipping on tea, coffe, or juice. We noted first a slight smell, then its source, as one of the four-legged friends had relieved him (or her?) self on the floor not too far from where we were seated. This was quickly cleaned up by the ever present, watchful and professional staff, who scooped up excrement and wiped up urine with a surgeon’s precision. One of the dogs hopped up on the bench alongside where we were sitting, sitting in solemn repose, perhaps escaping the various bodily fluids below. We were just remarking on how much like a human this particular dog seemed to be, which is perhaps not adequately illustrated by the below picture:
Soon after we had settled into the experience of dogs of all shapes and sizes (and temperaments) casually running around and even sitting alongside us, we had shifted our attention to conversations about different things. And, as if sensing that our focus was no longer on our four-legged friends, or perhaps in an act calculated to demand renewed attention, my friend (of the human variety) suddenly exclaimed:
“You are peeing on me!”
This was obviously not a reference to me, though grammatically it may have been ambiguous. His gaze had suddenly (obviously due to some sensation of precipitation) shifted downward, where the object of his outburst was indeed doing just that.
“YOU ARE PEEING ON ME!”
Came the follow-up, equally descriptive, and slightly more powerful statement from my friend, who may have been incredulous and thus in need of reiteration to fully absorb (no pun intended) what was happening.
Yes, the bitch had peed on him.
In quick succession, disbelief, then shock, then outrage, and finally acceptance – perhaps not the classic stages of denial, but an emotional roller-coaster no less.
I do not know if the dogs were privy to our conversation immediately preceding the unwelcome percolation. We were just then discussing how such a place would never work in the U.S. Too much liability, lawsuits, etc. Maybe the dog was expressing a dog’s point of view in the most effective manner of which it was capable. That is just one more thing I envy about dogs – on the list of attributes such as their flexibility, how happy they are just playing fetch, and how well they can express themselves even without the need for words.
After such urine-trouble, we just had to get cleaned up at a jimjilbang.
But that, as they say, is a Chronicle for another time.