July| Vol. 22 No. 8.02 | Christian's Chronicles © 2015 – All rights reserved.
In a Chronicles exclusive, we have been able to confirm the location of the World Tour Kickoff Party (WTKP). The surprise announcement was made earlier today. Although the specific address has not yet been revealed, due to what reported talks to reserve the pub at McGeorge School of Law which are still ongoing, the city has been named.
It is Sacramento.
Despite Campbell winning the votes in the much publicized poll where loyal readers of The Chronicles were allowed to voice their opinion in selecting the venue, Sacramento was selected due to logistical constraints. “We were unable to negotiate a venue in Campbell, given that we are dealing with important guests whose present location is presently a secret. The travel arrangements and security required to accommodate the requirements of an F-list celebrity whose presence and legal status is somewhat of a grey area proved to be beyond the capabilities of that small town. Sorry, Campbell!” said an official spokesperson, who ironically spoke on condition of anonymity, despite being an official spokesperson.
The festivities are to begin – if at all – tomorrow evening in Sacramento, somewhere in the near vicinity of 14th Street. Loyal readers of The Chronicles are encouraged to contact their local Christian’s Chronicle fan club representative for the secret handshake and password that will gain them access to this exclusive event.