July| Vol. 22 No. 8.02 | Christian's Chronicles © 2015 – All rights reserved.
As the year draws to a close, the politically correct thing to be expected is a ‘Happy New Year’ and recap of 2014, with a list of accomplishments and so on. Sprinkle in a Facebook-slideshow 2014-review of all the pictures one took wishing more than anything to make everyone jealous by fooling the public into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, and you have a veritable army of consumerism wrapped in mass-marketed individuality worshiping obediently at the altar of corporate greed.
Or something like that. But perhaps that’s a bit too cynical. Oh, whatever. Might as well go with it.
Anyway, we at The Chronicles thought it would be better to write a list of a different kind. Perhaps a list more appropriate to our circumstances would be a list of things we ALMOST accomplished in 2014. This is more efficient in that it leaves something to look forward to in 2015.
1. ALMOST ran a marathon. Sure, a 5K is a piece of cake. But 37 more would be way too much running.
2. ALMOST became politically correct. But only managed ‘correct.’
3. ALMOST wrote that book. But, someone else beat me to it.
4. ALMOST went all in, putting it all on the line in pursuit of a dream. But then realized what happened last time I did that.
5. ALMOST wrote something funny. But what’s the fun in that?
6. ALMOST voted. But then 1 vote absolutely does not in any way whatsoever count, and there is no duty to vote, nor are any rights forfeited by not voting, so…
7. ALMOST met that special someone. But decided to just stick with ‘someone.’
8. ALMOST broke the internet. But who is that big of an a$$?
9. ALMOST got inspired and started to ‘think positive.’ But realized its just a sales pitch.
10, ALMOST wished everyone a Happy New Year. But… OK, fine. Happy New Year everyone!
Well, this post will surely cost us 30% of our readership, so that leaves…. about 2. Many thanks to both of you!