Christian's Chronicles

July| Vol. 22 No. 8.02 | Christian's Chronicles © 2015 – All rights reserved.

Happy New Year

For this post, I got nothin’

Really, I have nothing for you. I just thought I ought to say ‘Happy New Year’ since it is now 2014, whereas mere hours ago it was still 2013.

I don’t want to do one of those cliché ‘year in review’ things, or one of those unbearable looks ahead to the coming year. No goals. No resolutions (been there, done that…). Nothing.

To be honest, I still cannot believe that we’ve passed the year 2000. I mean, that was the year we were all looking forward to as we grew up. It wasn’t just the Y2K bug (and what a disappointment that was!) or rumors of the world coming to an end. It wasn’t just Conan O’Brien looking forward into the future (“The future, Conan?“) all the way to the year 2000 (“In the year 2000, in the year two thousaaaand!”). And that was 14 years ago.

14 years! That’s almost old enough to drive.

Speaking of driving – where are the flying cars? Boy, what a letdown, technology. I mean you’ve really done it to us – you give us ‘smart’ phones and ‘social networking sites’ that interrupt anything we do and completely ruin whatever remaining bits of productivity and attention span we had left, but the holy grail of personal transportation, the flying car – where is that to be found?

Who has not dreamed of riding on a hover craft a la Luke Skywalker in return of the Jedi. Or even the hover-board thingy in back to the future. But nothing of the sort exists, at least not as a consumer product.

Poster for Skycar

Poster for Skycar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mind you, I seem to remember something about a flying car that was in development years ago. Was it the Moller M400 Skycar? WikiPedia should know, but I won’t bother to read that article. Perhaps one of you can read it and tell me about it. Somehow, the logistics did not quite work out. Perhaps the infrastructure was too difficult to develop. Then again, maybe Google will solve this one, too. We’ll be flying around in our self-guided flying vehicles as we look through our Google goggles and search for more things we don’t need, as we are continuously interrupted with loads of additional information that is almost completely useless to us. We may be able to waste time much more efficiently as we hover over to some pointless destination.

Also – robots. We should have convincing cyborgs by now, technology. What’s the holdup? What are you waiting for? If we are going to have that ultimate showdown between artificial intelligence and humanity, we ought to at least have a period of calm-before-the-storm useful and convincingly human cyborgs that (who?) may or may not need to be hunted down by Harrison Ford.

Perhaps we could use the non-oxygen-requiring cyborgs to build us colonies on Mars, or even just nearby on the moon. Come on, technology, you cannot even colonize the moon? Where on earth are the wealthy supposed to go for vacation?

For all the so-called advances, you’ve essentially only been able to provide us with the internet (whoopty doo) and ‘smart’ phones. Everything else is pretty much the same as it was in the 80s, but without the excellent fashion sense everyone had back then.

So, until we have flying cars, a moon-base I could travel to (if I could afford it) and cyborgs that are convincingly human, I am not going to give you any credit, technology. And I certainly am not going to ring in the new year as though it had anything like hope to offer regarding achieving any of the above.

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One comment on “Happy New Year

  1. Pingback: Home Alone | Christian's Chronicles

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This entry was posted on January 1, 2014 by in The Chronicles and tagged , , , , .